Intercal

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        PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS MAY ONLY RUN ON C-INTERCAL

        PLEASE DO ,1 <- #13
        DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #238
        DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #112
        DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #112
        DO ,1 SUB #4 <- #0
        DO ,1 SUB #5 <- #64
        DO ,1 SUB #6 <- #238
        DO ,1 SUB #7 <- #26
        DO ,1 SUB #8 <- #248
        DO ,1 SUB #9 <- #168
        DO ,1 SUB #10 <- #24
        DO ,1 SUB #11 <- #16
        DO ,1 SUB #12 <- #158
        DO ,1 SUB #13 <- #52

        PLEASE READ OUT ,1
        PLEASE GIVE UP

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Here's the infinitely regressed INTERCAL Hello World!

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        PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS MAY ONLY RUN ON C-INTERCAL

        PLEASE DO ,1 <- #13
        DO ,1 SUB #1 <- #584
        DO ,1 SUB #2 <- #837
        DO ,1 SUB #3 <- #1100
        DO ,1 SUB #4 <- #1356
        DO ,1 SUB #5 <- #1615
        DO ,1 SUB #6 <- #1824
        DO ,1 SUB #7 <- #2135
        DO ,1 SUB #8 <- #2383
        DO ,1 SUB #9 <- #2642
        DO ,1 SUB #10 <- #2892
        DO ,1 SUB #11 <- #3140
        DO ,1 SUB #12 <- #3361
        DO ,1 SUB #13 <- #266

        PLEASE DO ,2 <- #1
        PLEASE DO .5 <- #0
        PLEASE DO .4 <- #1

        PLEASE COME FROM (1)
        DO .6 <- ",1 SUB .4"~#255
        DO .6 <- !6~#15'$!6~#240'
        DO .6 <- !6~#15'$!6~#240'
        DO .6 <- !6~#15'$!6~#240'

        DO .1 <- .5
        DO .2 <- .6
        PLEASE DO (1010) NEXT
        DO .3 <- .3~#255
        DO .5 <- .6

        DO ,2 SUB #1 <- .3
        PLEASE READ OUT ,2

(1)     PLEASE DO .4 <- ",1 SUB .4"~#3840
        PLEASE GIVE UP

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