Alternative
Methods of Payment
This is the section where if
you apply, then you must really be desperate for funds for
school. We have thought of some very simple solutions and some very
silly ones. (By the way, the silly solutions are not serious
ones, just ones to make you laugh in your search for money for
school.).
Serious
Solutions
- Get
your parent or grandparents or some other relative to pay
for it. (Just tell them, it's like a pay off, they pay and your
off, meaning outta there.).
- Get a
job at your local fast food restaurant. (Oh boy, and you
thought you had given up this alternative, didn't you?).
- Be
All That You Can Be! (Join the Army National Guard for
tuition exemption. This is great, except if you like your
hair, kiss it good-bye.).
Silly Solutions*
- Rob a
bank. (Now there's an idea. Oh course, you can get all of
the college you want while you serve 5 to 20 for armed
robbery.).
- Use
the bully routine you used while you were in school. (Basically,
the way this one works is you find some rich, weaker kid
at your local area college and bully him and beat him up
until he uses his parents credit cards to fund your
education. By the way, I think this one can also land you
behind bars, but boy think of the education you'll have
when you come out of jail.).
- Break
into cars and steal what you can to pay for your school.
(This is a very bad idea if you are planning on going to
a country university because this could get you shot by
the owner, bitten by his dog that he has left in his truck,
or just poor because everyone knows that country people don't
have anything worth stealing. Think about it, they live
in the country. DUH!!!!).
- Sell
drugs. (Hey, this is a very novel idea considering the President
of the United States has concentrated his efforts on
cleaning up the schools in America from drugs, but it makes
you wonder whether he smoked dope in college since he is
leaving the colleges out of this. I say the President smoked
and he is keeping in tune with his college days and
allowing everyone else a chance to not inhale some
marijuana also.).
*Disclaimer -The silly section is
no where related or affiliated with the beliefs of this group. We
just felt after a long, hard quarter in school, we deserved a
little fun before finals destroy our minds. We, the group
involved in this project, do not support criminal or drug related
activities in any way, shape, or form. In fact, we believe people
should be law abiding citizens.