Virginia Pomeroy

GREY TOR INN
AT THE WORLD'S END
Monday, May,—

MRS. MACGILL, inspired by the zeal with which the rest are re-reading Hardy, Blackmore, Baring-Gould, and Phillpotts, has finished a book of each of these novelists who play the "pipes of the misty moorlands." She dislikes them all, but her liveliest disapproval is reserved for the first and last named. She finds them most immoral, and says that if she could have believed that such. ill-conducted persons resided in Dart-moor or anywhere in Devonshire, she would not have encouraged the Grey Tor Inn by her presence. As to the language spoken by some of the characters, she is inclined to think no one could ever have heard it. | | 114 "There would be no sense in their using such words," she explains triumphantly, "for no one would understand them;" continuing the argument by stating that she once heard the Duke of Devonshire open a public meeting, and he spoke in exceptionally good English.

All this makes me rather wicked, so when I went down to breakfast to-day I said cheerfully, "Gude-marnin' to you! Marnin', Mrs. MacGill! How do'e like my new gown, Cecilia?—it's flam-new! Marnin', Sir Archibald! I did n't know'e in the dimpsey light; bide wheer you be, I'll take this seat. . . . Will I have bacon and eggs? Ess fay; there'll be nought else, us all knows that. Theer's many matters I want to put afore'e to-day. . . . Do'e see thicky li'l piece o' bread'pon the plate, Cecilia? Pass it to me, will'e? 1 know I be chitterin' like a guinea-fowl, but I be a sort o' public merryman bringin' folks the blessing o' honest laughter. . . . | | 115 Can us have blind up if't is all the same to you, Mrs. MacGill? I doan't like eatin' in the dark."

Then when mamma said, "Jinny!" in italics, and looked at me beseechingly, I exclaimed, "Gaw your ways, mother! I ban't feared o' you, an' I doan't mind tellin' 'e 't is so." When Sir Archibald, bursting with laughter, remarked it was a fine day, I replied, "You 'm right theer; did 'e ever see ought like un? Theer 's been a wonnerful change in the weather; us be called 'pon to go downlong to Widdington-in-the-Wolds to-day to see the roundy-poundies.

By this time Mrs. MacGill, thoroughly incensed, remarked that there was no accounting for taste in jokes, whereupon I responded genially, "You 'm right theer; it 's a wonnerful coorious rackety world; in | | 116 fact, in the language of Eden, I'll be gormed if it ban't a 'mazin' world!"

Mamma at this juncture said, with some heat, that if this were the language of Eden she judged it was after the advent of the serpent; at which Sir Archibald and Miss Evesham and I screamed with laughter and explained that I meant Eden Phillpotts, not the Garden of Eden.

The day was heavenly, as I said, and seemed intended by Providence for our long deferred picnic to Widdington-in-the-Wolds. Mamma and Mrs. MacGill wanted to see the church, Cecilia and I wanted any sort of an outing. Sir Archibald had not viewed the plan with any warmth from the first, but I was determined that he should go, for I thought he needed chastening. Goodness knows he got it, and for that matter so did I, which was not in the bargain.

I refuse to dwell on the minor incidents of that interminable day. Mrs. MacGill, for general troublesomeness, outdid her proudest | | 117 previous record; no picnic polluted by her presence could be an enjoyable occasion, but this one was frowned upon by all the Fates. There is a Dartmoor saying that God looks arter his own chosen fules, which proves only that we were fules, but not chosen ones. The luncheon was eaten in a sort of grassy gutter, the only place the party could agree upon. It was begun in attempted jocularity and finished in unconcealed gloom. Mrs. MacGill, on perceiving that we were eating American tongue, declined it, saying she had no confidence in American foods. I buried my face in my napkin and wept ostentatiously. She became frightened and apologized, whereupon I said I would willingly concede that we were not always poetic and were sometimes too rich, but that when it came to tinning meats it was cruel to deny our superiority. This delightful repast over and its remains packed in our baskets, we sought the inn.

Mrs. MacGill sank upon a feather bed in | | 118 one of the upstairs rooms, and my mother extended herself on two chairs in the same apartment, adding to my depression by the remark she reserves for her most melancholy moments: "If your poor father had lived, he would never have allowed me to undertake this."

I did n't dare face Sir Archibald until he had digested his indigestible meal, so Miss Evesham and I went for a walk. Naturally it rained before we had been out a half hour, and unnaturally eve met Mr.Willoughby, the artist, again. I ran back to the inn while they took shelter under a sycamore. I said I did n't want my dress spoiled, and I spoke the truth, but I did also want to give Miss Evesham the tonic of male society and conversation, of which she stands in abject need. By the time she is forty, if this sort of conventual life goes on, she will be as timorous as the lady in Captain Marryatt's novel who, whenever a gentleman shook hands with her, felt cold chills running up and down her back.

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I took a wrong turning and arrived at the inn soaked as to outer garments. After a minute or two in the motor-shed with Sir Archibald, I had a fire kindled in the bed-room; but before I could fully dry myself they were clamouring for me to come down and add my cheerful note to the general cackle, for mamma and Mrs. MacGill had ordered early tea. There was a cosy time for a few minutes when Miss Evesham gaily toasted bread on a fork and Mr. Willoughby buttered it, and Sir Archibald opened a quaint instrument in a corner by the fire. I struck the yellow keys of the thing absently. It was a tiny Broadwood of a bygone century, fashioned like a writing-desk with a sort of bookcase top to it. I tried "Loch Lomond" for Mr. Willoughby, and then, as a surprise to Cecilia, sang my little setting of the verses she gave me the other day. The words brought tears to her eyes, and Sir Archibald came closer. "More, more!" he pleaded, but I said, "I don't feel a bit like | | 120 it, Sir Archibald; if you'll let me off now I'll sing nicely for you when they've gone." He looked unmistakably pleased. "That's good of you," he whispered, "and I've ordered fresh tea made after the mob disperses."

"Don't forget that my mother is one of your so-called 'mob,'" I said severely.

"Oh, you know what I mean," he responded (he always blushes when he is chaffed). "I get on famously with your mother, but three or four women in a little low-ceiled room like this always look like such a bunch, you know!"

Then there was a dreadful interval of planning, in which Mrs. MacGill, who appeared to think it necessary that she should be returned to the Grey Tor Inn in safety whatever happened to anybody else, was finally despatched in the motor with mamma, Miss Evesham, and Johnson; while Sir Archibald and I confronted with such courage as we might, the dismal prospect of a three hours' tussle with Greytoria.