Notes on Writing
1.
Remember that
every reference listed at the end of your proposal or article needs to be
referenced in your text. If it is not
referenced in the text it must not be listed in the “References” section.
2.
Similarly, every
figure and table must be referenced in the text. You should not have a figure that just
appears out of nowhere. At the minimum
you should have a sentence that says something like: “Figure 1 is a sketch of
the proposed design.” You should then
follow this statement with a description of what is shown in figure 1.
3.
When referencing
figures you have two options. You can
either say, “Figure 1 is a sketch of the proposed device,” or “The proposed
device has 5 main components (Figure 1).”
Do not say, “(Figure 1) is a sketch of the proposed device,” or “The
proposed device has 5 main components Figure 1.
4.
The first time
you introduce an acronym you must spell it out completely. The style is: “Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis
(ALS) affects 30,000 Americans.” Do not
say: “ALS is Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis, and it affects 30,000 Americans.”
5.
Pay attention to
the difference between “affect” and “effect.”
In general, you will use “affect” as a verb and “effect” as a noun. For example, in “temperature affects viscosity,”
affects is a verb. In “temperature has
an effect on viscosity,” effect is a noun.
Effect can be used as a verb, as in “the hammer effects
a knee-jerk reflex.” However, it’s
better in this case just to say, “the hammer causes a
knee-jerk reflex.”
6.
Keep quotes to a
minimum. Remember that quotes should
generally be used when presenting something that is an opinion. When expressing fact, it is better to
paraphrase.
Compare:
According to Johnson et al. (1999),
meningitis is the most painful of all neural disorders.
to:
Johnson et al. (1999) have said, “meningitis is the most painful of all neural disorders.”
In this case, the quote is effective.
Compare:
Meningitis affects 50,000 Americans
each year (Johnson et al., 1999).
to:
According to Johnson et al. (1999), “Meningitis
affects 50,000 Americans each year.”
In this case the version with the
quote sounds as if you are shedding some doubt on what Johnson et al. have
said.
7.
Some terms should
not be used in professional writing. A
few are listed in Table 1:
8.
Always use
complete sentences, except, possibly, for a figure or table caption. You can say, “Figure 1: Sketch of the final
design.” Everywhere else you must use
complete sentences.
9.
The word “It’s”
is a contraction of “it is.” It is not the possessive of “it.” Correct: “It’s
10. You should not use contractions. You should not say, “The device can’t be used
in cold weather.” Instead you should say, “The device cannot be used in cold
weather.” Similarly, do not use haven’t,
doesn’t, wouldn’t, etc.
11. In citing references, remember that “et al.” is the
correct abbreviation, not “et al” or et. al” or et. al.”
12. Pay attention to the format for citing references, and
be consistent. You should use either:
“Johnson et al. (2002) developed the first viable artificial brain.” or “An artificial
brain will require 5 billion electrical connections (Johnson et al.,
2002). In the second form, separate the
author name from the date with a comma.
You can separate multiple citations with a semicolon, as in (Johnson et
al., 2002; Friedrich et al., 2002).
Never list more than one name in the author list. In other words, do not say, (Johnson,
Robertson et al., 2002). Also, do not
say (Stan Johnson et al., 2002).
13. It is also not appropriate to spell out an author’s
complete name. You should not say, “Dr.
Stan Johnson developed the first artificial brain (Johnson et al., 2002). It’s much better to just say, “Jonhson et
al., (2002) developed the first artificial brain.”
14. Make sure that your grammatical constructions are
parallel. For example, instead of “The
proposed device is practical, inexpensive, and it provides comfort to the
patient,” you should say, “The proposed device is practical, inexpensive, and
comfortable to the patient.”
15. The semicolon is used to separate two sentences that
are closely related. If you use a
semicolon, look at the expressions on each side. If they are not both complete sentences, then
the semicolon is not the correct punctuation.
16. Avoid the use of “etc.” It makes you sound like you’re too lazy to
list all of the other important items on the list.
Subjunctive
- The subjunctive tense is used in cases of
doubt. Students of languages like
French and Spanish are highly aware of the subjunctive tense. In English, this tense is less obvious,
but it does exist. Some cases are:
- If I were you … (Not “If I was you.”).
- If there were a device that cured cancer … (Not
“If there was a device that cured cancer”).
The Dangling Participle
The –ing ending on a verb can
perform two separate functions. It can
turn the verb into a gerand (a noun), or it can turn it into a past
participle. Compare the following:
Eating is good.
I am eating.
I was eating.
In the first sentence,
“eating” is a verb that has been converted to a noun, and it has become the
subject of the sentence. In the second
and third sentences, “eating” is still a verb form, the participle. One of the unfortunate aspects of the English
language is that it does not distinguish between the gerand and the present (or
past) participle. (A few hundred years
ago there was a difference in the form of these two, but language is constantly
changing and it has evolved to eliminate the distinction. One need only pick up the plays of Shakespear
or a copy of “The Canterbury Tales” to see that dramatic changes in language that
can occur in only a few hundred years).
Not surprisingly, having a form that can perform more than one function
can cause confusion.
A construction that often
occurs is demonstrated by the sentence, “Eating the pretzel, I slipped on a
rock.” This sentence could be rephrased
as, “While I was eating the pretzel, I slipped on a rock.” This restatement highlights the past participle
nature of “eating,” and it also makes it clear who was eating the pretzel. In the original sentence, “Eating the
pretzel, I slipped on a rock,” it is clear who was eating the pretzel because
the subject, “I” is the first noun that follows the comma. But what if we said,
“Eating the pretzel, the black cat crossed my path.” By strict rules of grammar, this statement
means, “While a black cat was eating the pretzel, the black cat crossed my
path.” It is likely that this meaning
was not intended by the writer. Because
it is now not clear what noun the participle belongs to, it is called a
“dangling participle.”
The rule is that when you use
a construction that starts with a participle, the first thing after the comma
needs to be the subject of the participle.
If not, you are breaking the laws of grammar, risking ridicule from
various readers and, more importantly, risking being misunderstood.
Some manuals on writing go so
far as to suggest that you avoid words that end in –ing altogether. This rule seems a tad restrictive to me. However, one should be careful when using
words with –ing. For example, consider
the sentences, “Eating the pretzel, I slipped on a rock,” (where “eating” is a
past participle) and “Eating the pretzel was straightforward,” (where “eating”
is a gerand). After “Eating the pretzel,” it is still not obvious to the reader
whether eating is a gerand or a participle.
This ambiguity makes your reader think harder than he/she normally would
have to. The extra thought is not
substantial in this case because the sentence is short, but if the sentence
gets more complicated, the reader can become more confused. Try these two sentences:
“Eating the pretzel with my
fingers, which were covered in honey, I became frustrated.”
“Eating the pretzel with my
fingers, which were covered in honey, was the most fun I ever had.”
As the –ing word becomes more
separated from the part of the sentence that indicates its part of speech, the
probability of the sentence being misunderstood increases.
This
In writing, the word “this”
is best used as a demonstrative adjective, not a pronoun. It always needs to modify something. Do not say, “This causes the patient severe
pain and discomfort.” Instead, say,
“This complication causes the patient severe pain and discomfort.”
Malapropisms
Mrs. Malaprop
was a character in the play “The Rivals” (R. B. Sheridan, 1775) who was fond of
her vocabulary and unwittingly misused words.
The malapropism is a common literary device in comedies. Modern examples can be found in Archie
Bunker’s use of English in the sit-com “All in the Family,” but earlier
examples can be found in many of Shakespear’s works.
Make sure that you know what
a word means when you use it. Otherwise,
it could have devastating consequences.
Consider this example from a research proposal:
“We will use sophistical analysis
software to accomplish these goals.”
The author may have intended
to use the word “statistical,” or may have mistyped “sophisticated.” In any case, the definition of the word,
“Seemingly correct, but erroneous,” was almost certainly not what the author
intended.
The “Time is Right” Statement (Proposals)
First of all, I do not want
you to use the phrase, “The time is right ….”
I want you to indicate something that has changed recently that either
makes the project feasible, or has placed increased urgency on the
project. For example, “The recent
development Pentium class processors with GHz clock speeds has made the
development of such a real-time system feasible,” or “There is an increased
need for this type of system because of the recently increased political
awareness of the threat from biochemical weapons.” It is not sufficient to say, “Because this
type of system has not yet been developed, it is now time to create it.” The reviewer will not believe that you are a
super genius who just happens to be able to make something that has never been
made before. He/she will be more
convinced if it is clear that you plan to take advantage of some
recently-developed technology or that nobody else has wanted to develop the
system before simply because it didn’t seem important until now.
Decision Matrix (Design Proposals)
In your decision matrix, do
not label your alternative designs as “Design 1,” “Design 2,” and “Design
3.” Instead, use a descriptive phrase
that tells the reader something about the design. For example, “Pressure
Sensitive Mask,” “CO2 detector,” and “Respiratory Rate Measurement.” Your reader does not want to keep flipping
back to your text to find out what “Design 2” is.
Preliminary Results (Proposals)
- Provide an introductory paragraph to the
preliminary results section. Do not
simply start out by describing your experiment. State the question that you are trying
to answer with your experiment (or calculation).
- Preliminary results are most convincing when they
include some recorded data. Do not
just tell the reader that you did something. Provide data, including a graph of the
data and, if appropriate, a test for significance.
- If you do some kind of calculation as part of
your preliminary results, be sure to interpret it and state how the
calculation is relevant to your project.
- The following should not be put in your Preliminary Results section. a) Descriptions of experiments that you
plan to make (these should go in the “Evaluation” section). b) Descriptions of your qualifications
(these should go in the “Qualifications” section). c) Information that you
have obtained from library research (this information should be in your
“Background” section).
Data Models
When you use a model for your
data (such as a least squares fit or a power-law model), you need to state why
you selected that model. Generally, the
linear least squares fit model is the easiest to justify since it merely says
that “y increases (or decreases) with x.”
If this relationship is the only thing you can predict about the data a priori, a least squares fit is
appropriate. You can also consider
whether you expect y=0 at x=0 (in which case you already know that the
y-intercept is 0) or whether some nonlinear behavior is expected (which might
lead to a power law, an exponential, or some other function). If your model is based on a similar model
from a journal article, you must reference that article when you introduce the
model.
Statistic Analysis
You cannot discuss your
statistical analysis without stating what measurements you intend to make. In other words, do not simply say, “a T-test will be applied to the data.” Instead, you can say, “The flow rates
measured for the device with the regulator will be compared to the flow rates
measured for the device without the regulator by a T-test.”
Editing Symbols
I use the following symbols
for editing text:
Separate:
“incase” becomes “in case.”
Delete:
he device is very expensive” becomes “the
device is expensive”
Close up:
“can not” becomes “cannot”
insert: “I
ate sandwich” becomes “I ate the sandwich”
Interchange:
“dialysis costly is”
becomes “dialysis is costly”
new paragraph:
Words You Do Not Need
Get rid of any words you do
not need. Here are a few examples I have
run into. (Revisons are in parentheses):
“The addition of more
components to the existing design must be designed as to not inhibit
sleep.” (The added components must not
inhibit sleep).
“The major problem that I
intend to address is that standard axillary crutch users need a safer and
easier way to ascend and descend stairs.”
(Standard axillary crutch users need a safer and easier way to ascend
and descend stairs.)
“Stair climbing requires a
certain amount of strength and confidence.”
(Stair climbing requires strength and confidence.)
“The person can’t really feel
them.” (The person cannot feel them).
“The electrodes would have to
be cordless and be able to be detected by the sensors.” (The electrodes would have to be cordless and
detectable by the sensors.)
“Installing the driver would
cost a lot of money plus paying for the software and electrodes would be
expensive also.” (The software, the electrodes, the driver, and installation
would be expensive.)
“My group measured an EKG of
the heart.” (My group measured an EKG).
“The importance of an
effective drug delivery system lies in the population effected, which is
basically the whole of society.” (Nearly
everyone would benefit from a more effective drug delivery system.)
“Using a laser pointer, there
is a risk of eye injury because disabled people might use the pointer to point
to a person and by mistake they will point the laser to their eye.” (Laser pointers can cause eye injury if they
are pointed into a person’s eyes).
“The limiting factor in TDD
systems is goverened primarily by skin permeability.” (TDD systems are limited by skin
permeability.)
“The flexibility of the
device will be ensured to fit on children from ages one to five.” (The device must fit on children from ages
one to five.)
“Research shows that kidney
transplantations are the optimum treatment.” (Kidney transplantations are the
optimum treatment.)
“An article attributes such
discrepancies to be not only genetic, but also due to access to health care for
certain minorities (Obrador et al., 2002).
(Obrador et al. (2002) attribute such discrepancies to both genetic
disorders and lack of health care access for certain minorities.)
“The device will be able to
be replaced by the user.” (The device will be replaceable by the user).
“There are two ways to go by
troubleshooting a medical device.”
(There are two ways to troubleshoot a medical device).
“The problem that will be
addressed upon completion of this project ….”
(The problem that will be addressed by this project...)
“In a recent study, it has
been found that ….” (A recent study
found that ….)
“This infection is one that
can go unnoticed.” (This infection can
go unnoticed).
“The need for an improved
surgical swab is apparent.” (An improved
surgical swab is needed.)
“However, we know that cotton
can leave lint.” (However, cotton can
leave lint).
“As you can see, each one of
the solutions to the problem is flawed.” (Each of the solutions to the problem
is flawed).
“We learn from Fluid Mechanics
that the greater the surface area touching the fluid, the faster the absorption
occurs.” (Absorption is proportion to
the surface area in contact with the fluid).
“Another way to evaluate if
the design is functioning as desired is …” (Another way to evaluate the design
is ….).
Orthography
Spell checkers are highly
valuable and should be used regularly, but they cannot a correctly spelled word
that is used in an incorrect context. Pay
attention to each word when you use the spell checker and have a dictionary
available to look up any words that seem suspicious. Here are a few of the spelling errors I ran
into:
|
Context |
Correct Word |
|
When ascending, a felling
of some safety existed |
feeling |
|
I could only were
the device when I was extremely fatigued. |
wear |
|
Multimeters and sauntering
irons will be used in the laboratory. |
soldering |
|
… small
enough to put into a circuit with ought dramatically increasing its
original size. |
without |
|
In today’s fast paste
and competitive world… |
paced |
|
The synthetic fiber could
cost any wear from … |
anywhere |
|
Obstructive sleep apnea
affects the quality of life of many who suffer from this depilatory disease. |
debilitating (unless obstructive sleep apnea causes hair loss). |
|
Our approach to the mapping
of the atria makes this device potable. |
portable (I do not think that the investigators intended to
drink the device). |
Figures
When you borrow a figure from
some other source, be sure to provide an acknowledgement of the source in the
figure caption.
Also, be sure that you
include the legend key. In some cases,
inclusion of the key may require extra effort.
For example, the key may be in the original legend, rather than on the
figure itself, whereas you need to write your own legend. Alternately, the plot may be in color or may
otherwise make it difficult to distinguish between different patterns that
represent different data. In this case,
you must ensure that your reader understands the legend. You may need to reconstruct the graph
yourself in Excel or some other graphing package. Make sure that you then state that the figure
has been “adapted” from the stated source (e.g. “adapted from Minos et al., 2001”).
Steven A. Jones